The debate about whether leaders are born or made has sparked countless discussions, and my personal belief is that true leaders are born. This doesn’t mean leadership comes easily or that learning and growth don’t matter, but I believe certain qualities are innate, waiting to be realized. Throughout my own life, I’ve seen this play out time and again, and I’ve come to understand that leadership is something you carry within yourself, often before you or others even recognize it.

Looking back at my time in school, I was always seen as a misfit. I tried every sport the school offered cricket, football, athletics but none of them resonated with me. I wasn’t the student teachers admired or favored. In fact, I was often looked down upon, seen as someone who didn’t fit into the traditional mold. My ideas weren’t celebrated, and my voice wasn’t heard. That experience of feeling overlooked can be tough for anyone, especially when you’re young and trying to find your place in the world.

But then I discovered cadeting. When I joined the cadet corps, it was the first time I felt I truly belonged. Cadeting gave me discipline and allowed me to express myself in a way I hadn’t been able to before. It wasn’t about fitting into a sport or chasing accolades it was about leading with purpose and working together as a team. I owe a great deal of my growth during those years to Conel Priyantha Wickramasooriya, who saw something in me that others hadn’t and helped nurture it. His guidance allowed me to thrive and realize that leadership isn’t always about standing out sometimes it’s about standing up when it matters most.

This realization carried me forward into university and my working life. I quickly found that leadership was about much more than personal success; it was about helping others grow. I found a deep sense of fulfillment in mentoring others, guiding them through challenges, and pushing them to become better. But even then, I encountered obstacles jealousy, corporate politics, and being labeled as a rebel. It didn’t matter how much I contributed or how many people I helped; there were always those who didn’t want to see me succeed.

Yet here’s what I’ve learned: leadership isn’t defined by the challenges you face but by how you rise above them. To date, I’ve helped over 500 people in their careers and personal growth. Have I reached the pinnacle of my own career? Not yet, and that’s fine. Because leadership isn’t about reaching the top it’s about the journey and the people you help along the way. People often see something in me and label me a leader, but that label wasn’t something I chased. It came from the way I chose to live and the values I held onto, even when the world seemed determined to pull me down.

There’s a quote by John Quincy Adams that resonates deeply with me: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” Leadership isn’t about titles or authority it’s about inspiring others to reach their potential, to dream bigger, and to push past their limitations. That, to me, is the essence of being a leader.

But here’s what I want everyone to understand: you don’t have to be recognized as a leader to actually lead. So many people think, “I’m not a leader. I don’t have what it takes.” But the truth is, the qualities of leadership are often within you they just haven’t had the chance to fully shine. Sometimes, it’s fear holding you back. Other times, it’s doubt. But trust me when I say, leadership is within you. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to express who you truly are.

One of the greatest gifts we have is communication the ability to express, to connect, and to inspire. Don’t let fear silence you. Use your voice, share your ideas, and believe in what you have to offer. Leadership is not about fitting in, it’s about standing out, and sometimes all it takes is for you to express what’s inside you for others to see the leader within.

In my own life, I’ve had the incredible support of my family. My parents were always a source of immense confidence for me. They never told me I couldn’t achieve something; instead, they always said I could. But what made their support even more valuable was that they never forced me they let me find my own way, always standing by my side, encouraging me to reach higher.

Later in life, after the experience of a failed first marriage, I found a partner who embodies that same support. She’s always by my side, believing in me even when I doubt myself. There are times when I think I can’t achieve something, but she always says, “You can.” That unwavering trust, that belief, helps bring out the real leader in me. Having someone in your life who believes in you, who trusts your abilities even when you don’t that can be one of the most powerful enablers of leadership.

Simon Sinek once said, “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.” That’s a lesson I’ve carried with me throughout my life. Leadership isn’t about being the boss or having authority it’s about serving others, guiding them, and enabling them to be their best. That kind of leadership doesn’t come from training or management courses it comes from within.

Warren Bennis, a famous leadership expert, once said, “The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born… In fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.” While I respect this perspective, I’ve always felt differently. Managers can be trained, but true leaders are born with an internal drive, a vision, and a resilience that can’t be taught in a classroom. So to anyone reading this, if you think you’re not a leader, I encourage you to look a little deeper. The qualities of leadership might be within you, just waiting for the right moment or the right support to emerge. Believe in yourself, communicate with confidence, and don’t be afraid to express your potential. Leadership isn’t about being at the top it’s about lifting others and making a difference. And the truth is, the leader within you might already be shining.